Letter of Resignation!to the Ethiopian Parliament
(Political Satire) By Teka
Tigrai Online Oct. 29, 2019
If Abiy Ahmed has a shred of decency left in him he should resign from power immediately. This satire by Mr. Teka shows you why he should.
I, Abiy Ahmed, Prime Minster of Ethiopia, here-by announce my resignation as of today. I resign my position to save whatever pride I have left. I resign with deep regret that I did not deliver the high hopes that the people of Ethiopia had in me since last April, 2019.
As your Prime Minster, you expected me to bring the country together, heal the long standing wounds, reconcile the deep rooted ethnic discords, and continue on the path of progress that Ethiopia was heading long before I became the PM. As your Prime Minster, I had the full support of every Ethiopian from all walks of life right from the beginning of my premiership. I enjoyed the support that no other Ethiopian leader had ever before. But, because of my immaturity and my narcissistic self-aggrandizement, I blew my chances big time. I completely forgot that my people expected that I pay a price for noble peace instead of a Nobel Peace Prize for me.
I preoccupied myself on my image and focused on issues that are not relevant to the average citizen. I only proved myself to be a superb speaker. I wasted my time while on power planting seedlings of trees and cleaning the streets of Addis, the capital of Africa. I spent a great deal of time and money renovating the national palace while so many people were suffering from displacement and hunger. I sought the adulation and praise everywhere I can find it. I became addicted to the applause that the people gave me, not knowing that it would eventually lead to my downfall.
Instead of leading the country, a country that needed a sound leadership so badly, I kept busy writing books, two of them so far. One of them actually, “Meddemer”, became, with the help of the government of Ethiopia and China, a bestselling. I have to also confess that the rhetoric of “Medemer” actually is just like the legendary “Tenkolegnaw Kebede’s” rock.
I hope my people will forgive me for my empty rhetoric. I hope the people would also understand that they have a part of the guilt since they believed any nonsense I uttered. I did not expect people to be that ready to be enamored with me shallow words and simply because I kept repeating the name of “Ethiopia”. I honestly was not ready to be a leader of this great nation. I did not have any plans whatsoever. I just had some beautiful words.
I am sorry that I let the late Eng. Simegnih Bekele be murdered under my own watch and let you believe that he committed suicide. I am sorry to his family in particular and to the people of Ethiopia in general for deceiving you. And yes, I ordered the cameras around Meskel Square be removed a day before his execution. I take full responsibilities for his murder.
I also apologize for letting into the country all the so-called opposition groups without a due deliberation and thought. My shortsightedness and my extreme desire for cheap popularity are to blame for all my actions and inactions. I regret that I let Johar Mohamed set his foot in Ethiopia, a country that he is hell bent to destroy. I paid a price for that.
I released the beast, Gen. Asaminew Tsige, from his cage and let all that chaos happen. I am deeply sorry for that. I am sorry also that a hero like Gen SeAre and the innocent Dr. Ambachew had to die because of my own ego. I could have prevented it.
I am sorry that I ignored the people of Gedeo during their suffering while displaced from their land. I lied when I said I did not know about this issue. I was busy building my image, the image of peace maker that ultimately helped me get the Nobel Prize for Peace, which, in hindsight, I do not believe I deserve it.
I am so sorry that I lied when I said that I did not know anything about what happened to the people of Gammo in the peripheries of Addis. I did not have a choice but to lie because I did not know what to do.
I am sorry that I allowed for the tension between all ethnic groups in Ethiopia to reach to its pick and did nothing. Instead, I left the country for any silly reason every time that I smelled problem. And, sometimes, I would arrange for trouble to kick in as soon as I left the country. I am sorry for all of that.
I am sorry also that I ignored the fact that few arrogant hooligans in Amara region decided to close the road from Woldiya to Mekele. I thought it would work perfectly into my political game, but it did not. The Tigrai people proved a lot stronger than I thought they were.
To my defense, though, I do not like working hard. My forte is in my beautiful words. I am a formidable salesperson. I can sell a piece of rock for a piece of bread. That is how good a communicator I am. My good looks have helped me too.
I leave this most coveted position in Ethiopia with heavy heart. I loved the power; I got addicted to the idea that people started worshiping me like God. Some even called me that I was the second coming of Jesus Christ.
Finally, I resign because my time is up. I do not think that I have any more time left as a Prime Minister. All the chaos is beyond my capacity. I resign as of today and I ask the people of Ethiopia for forgiveness. I did not deliver my promise of “Peace and Progress”. Instead, I brought you chaos and instability. I am sorry that I let you down.
God Bless Ethiopia!
Abiy Ahmed (Dr.), Prime Minister of Ethiopia
This is how things looked exactly a year ago and Ethiopia is worst now than a year ago because the Egyptians still working hard to demolish Ethiopia.